Thursday, October 26, 2017

5 Terrifying Horror Stories Hiding In Superhero Films

The Amazing Spider-Man promised to tell

us the "untold story" of Peter Parker's beginnings, because everyone watched Uncle Ben die and thought, "This is nice and all, buuuuuuut ..." Before the series was cut off after two installments, I think we somehow learned less than what we knew about Peter's past in the beginning, and this indifferent approach to storytelling didn't stop with a sloppy origin tale. The main villain of the first film is Curt Connors, aka the Lizard, who regrows his arm, grows a brand-new set of lizard parts, and suddenly decides that he wants to turn everyone in NYC into lizard people. In the book of Generic Supervillain Plots, I think "Turn Everyone Into A Version Of The Villain For Remarkably Vague Reasons" is #4, just after "Giant Laser" and just before "Some Robots."
And I think it's because the main threat of the movie has all of the inspired motivation of a man eating a handful of sand that we fail to remember the most what-in-the-blazing-shit moment in any Spider-Man movie. While investigating Curt Connor's lab for clues about his parents (this is meant to tell us that there is a big connected world of evil, but it just comes across as implying how awkward the Parker neighborhood barbecues were), Peter discovers a giant dinosaur mouse feasting on a decidedly less dinosaur-ish regular mouse. Conners had been doing experiments on mice earlier, and apparently, one up and turned into something that the Flintstones would use as a footstool.